 Notice when you feel the need to defend yourself. What are you avoiding? What are you denying, rejecting?
What if you accepted yourself as you are - flawed. Wouldn't that be a relief? When you feel like defending yourself or your stance, just say 'yes'. This does not require you to take on others' opinions about you. When you accept yourself completely, when you embrace your flaws, others' criticism has no power. Any reaction you have points to something that you judge about yourself, something that needs your attention, your compassion and acceptance. "You're wrong" Yes "You're selfish" Yes "You're weak" Yes I don't need to fight your opinion. I know who I am. There's no conflict. Nobody loses and you gain peace.
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 The thought that we give the most energy to is what we bring to fruition. This is an unconscious process that's always in operation. If we are always thinking about our failures, we continue to fail. If we fear betrayal, we attract it. It's not about blaming ourselves, it's about knowing the reality of how this works and using it to our advantage. You don't have to pretend everything's rosy either. Simply acknowledge where you are right now (good and bad) and choose to focus your energy on what you would love to create in your life. Then take action in support of what you want.
I sometimes catch myself thinking that I should be in a relationship. Is it true though? Can we be alone forever and happy? Can we be in a relationship forever and happy? I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
"The truth is, we’re simply not terribly good at being happy whatever state we are in. We will probably be a bit miserable rather often whatever our relationship status – which is ultimately an argument for neither rushing too fast into a couple, nor rushing too fast out of one. http://www.thebookoflife.org/reasons-to-remain-single/ |
AuthorLaura is a Gestalt counsellor and psychotherapist in Melbourne's inner North. Archives
September 2018
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